my aunt died this afternoon. While somewhat expected (the family had been warned that she had deteriorated during the night, and the immediate family were by her bedside) it was still something of a shock. From the point where we were told that she wasn’t very well and was in hospital (her son took her in because she was feeling so poorly) to the day she died was just a day over two weeks. its just stunning how quickly it took her. (it was cancer, by the way).

I had a little cry after the news came through. Michiel sat with me, just holding me while i cried. i decided not to go to asda to do the shopping. walking around blubbering would not have been good. i got what i needed to at aldi (just down the road), then came home and did something positive instead. i planted seeds (the details of all this are to be found in today’s today entry).

But today, much like yesterday, seems to have marked a change in our relationship. I don’t know what it is, maybe a fair wind blowing, or things have made us both think but.. although we still get on with our own thing during the day.. at 5pm, Michiel asked me to grab some nibbles and a glass of wine for him, we turned the puters off, the TV off, and just talked to each other for an hour. just the simple act of enjoying each other’s company… then i watched a bit of TV and cooked dinner.. and we ate at the table together, again, enjoying each other’s company, discussing various things under the sun.

and doing this.. i remember and realise and understand why we are together: because at the end of the day, we have been in each other’s company almost 24/7 for the last 2 years.. and we’re still together. we might argue, ohhhh, we have some humdinger arguments, but beyond that.. we get on well together. i can often finish his sentence.. he can often finish mine. (and no, it doesn’t mean we run out of things to say to each other. LOL.)

And after dinner, after a breather to let the food go down.. we got up, I fed jess and started making some flapjacks, while he did the washing up. we worked together, as a team, and i realised tonight just how much that meant to me, that working together, as a team. We don’t do enough of it.

And then my thoughts drift back to my aunt. She’s at peace, now. But at least she died loved, surrounded by her husband, her son, daughter-in-law, sister, brother, mother. she died surrounded by family and i think on some level.. i hope, on some level, she knew she was loved.

and i think, in the final analysis, that’s all any of us can ask for in life. to love… and to be loved in return.