no, not another one.. in reading the various news reports (this page has a number of photos, rather a good report) this morning, I’ve noticed several rather funny comments… The “did the earth move for you” headline was WAY overused, and someone even commented “my ten year old slept through it – which makes me feel a bit better about her overhearing (or not) middle of the night nookies..”.

Those apart, these struck me: first of all, did you know that Market Rasen, the epicentre of the earthquake, in Lincolnshire, is “near” Manchester? it is according to the London Free Press in Canada. “The quake’s epicentre was 205 kilometres north of London near Manchester and it struck just before 1 a.m. local time”. um. Ohhhkayyy.

More amusing than erroneous press reports (and the proliferation of local press reports with the head line of “earthquake hits <insert local town>” – no, the earthquake was in Market Rasen, you idiot, it was just FELT in <insert local town>, as it was in many other parts of England!) were the comments that some people made. ThisisScunthorpe, a town to the north of Market Rasen (and where a close friend happens to live – and i haven’t spoken to her yet, i’m willing to bet she slept through it) had a few funny comments: hi, from somewhere, wrote “i fell down the stairs and my girlfriend landed on me“. um. you’re not quite doing that one right mate.. shocked from scunthorpe wrote, in a variation of the earth moved overused gag: “my bed was rocking even more than usual last night šŸ˜‰ lol“, and Kay, also from Scunthorpe wrote “I remembered my geography teacher from school telling me earthquakes in England weren’t unheared of, so I suppose I knew what’d happened tho strange thing to think about!! Bless my boyfriend tho, who clung onto me for dear life while muttering ‘don’t worry, it’s juust the wind’!!“, which gives lovely imagery.

Over on other sites there’s the inevitable comparisons of the “in MAHH dayyy” type.. in Buckinghamshire, since they don’t have an earthquake to compare with, they settled for comparing it with the Bunsfield explosion. “I never heard or felt a thing.
Now when Bunsfield went up my WHOLE house shook but last night’s quake never even woke me.
” Yes, dear, that’s cos Bunsfield was a) a lot closer b) a different type of explosion. I think something that causes ground vibrations over hundreds of miles is more impressive than a big boom, personally.

There were the inevitable naughty/saucy comments: ThisisDorset had some lag make a rather naughty comment: “My old pal was in a Northampton lap dancing club he said the 5′ 9″ blond on his lap never moved that much before.The Earth done a wobble. ” No shit, sugar… to the even naughtier: “My partner Paul and I were lay in bed after some rather delightful sex and suddenly we felt the house shake from side to side. We laughed today because we thought that our earth shattering sex has now made it to the news lol” which may be just too much information, dear..
Different things are being blamed for the shaking – Someone in London reported: “At about 1 a.m. this morning I was suddenly attacked by my wife. This is unusual, because my wife does not normally attack me at any time, and certainly not when I am asleep in bed. Anyway, I awoke to find her punching me forcibly in the ribs and shouting “The house is falling down, the house is falling down…!” With that she ran downstairs, only to re-awaken me a few minutes later exclaiming, “It’s alright the house isn’t falling down after all, it must have just been Brucey (our Pyrenean Mountain Dog) trying to get into the fridge again.” I fell back to sleep, remembering fondly the far off days when I was single, didn’t get woken violently in the middle of the night, and didn’t have a Pyrenean Mountain Dog which has to be taken for long walks all the time.” Have to say, first time i’ve heard a dog, even a Pyrenean Mountain Dog, being blamed for a ‘quake.. Someone else thought it was a ghost (and should have her caplock key taken away from her – i’ve retyped (including spelling errors) to spare my readers the caps): “Woke up suddenly and felt my bed shaking slightly and items on the tops of my wardrobe (Suitcaes) were moving, i thought i had a ghost in the house.I checked my 3 children who were all fast asleep and checked the rest of the house,everything was fine but it was weird didn’t really know if i was dreaming or it was a ghost, found out at 8.15 it was an earthquake“.

Still on the “its not an earthquake, its..” issue: Another person said he thought it was his wife snoring (and unfortunately i closed the window and can’t find the site again for a link) – i bet he’s popular with his wife this morning, he gave his full name, and a reverend too! (and he’s not alone, i just found someone else who blamed his partner’s snoring: “I was woken by a loud rumble to find both my bed and bookshelf rattling. Thought it may have been Jt snoring!!!“) Another person thought there was someone hiding underneath the bed, jumped out and yelled at the non-existent person to come out of the bed. I bet she was relieved to find it was only an earthquake. John Meers had a similar reaction: “I was woken by a “crashing noise”. I was convinced that somebody had broken into the house and had tripped over in the dark. I searched the house to see if this had happened, found nothing. Had no idea it was an earthqwake until morning news.

Some people will seize on anything to drive their pet project home, from the distasteful immigrant-hating: “I blame the immigrants. Its obvious their bone structures are heavier than our indeginous bones, thus weighing down our country`s earth plates ,resulting in the inevitable consequences we witnessed this morning, I`ve been warning about this for quite some time!! Mark my words they will cause a volcano next!!” to Global Warming: “(quote by someone else)’global warming has NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER on earthquakes. go back to middle school and learn about plate tectonics.’ WRONG! Or, to be more precise, still being evaluated. Scientists are wondering more and more about if the ocean effects tectonic plates as the pressures involved are tremendous. Global warming is having a significant effect on sea levels. Ice removal may also have a direct effect.” and the rather cynical “Lets see the government try and blame global warming for this one!

So there you have it. Earthquakes are caused by global warming, immigrants, fridge-raiding dogs, vigorous sex, snoring partners, and burglars. And Lincolnshire is near Manchester. that one still makes me laugh..