This weekend is Mothering Sunday – so called because, back in the 16th century, on the fourth sunday of lent, people returned to their “mother church”, often the local cathedral, for a special service there. In more recent years servants and the like were given this sunday off to go to visit their mothers and other family members, so with both word associations to do with mothers, its unsurprising that it became, in modern times, “Mothering Sunday”.
However, I’d like to pay tribute here to the mothers in my family: my own mother, and my grandmothers, (and by extension other mothers – aunts and others). Being a mother, i understand, is a rewarding job, but a hard and often thankless one (particularly from bratty teenagers).. full of pain, full of love, full of sorrow, full of joy. My own relationship with mom has seen ups and downs, there are times when we’ve both deeply hurt each other. But for all that, she is my mom – someone i know will be there when i need her, no matter what, she may not like me terribly much but i know she’ll always love me. She’s a caring woman, in personality, very selfless. She loves to explore beauty: whether singing, art, reading, or the natural beauty in the world around her. She’s innocent, in a wonderful way: thinking first of people’s better natures rather than instinctively leaping to bad conclusions. She’s definetly a cup half full person.
My maternal grandmother is in many ways quite different. Mom takes after her father much more, i think. Grannie is a teacher – not just by profession (at least till she retired), i mean, she’s one of life’s natural teachers. it was she who taught me to paint, to flower arrange. My love for gardening comes from both her and my grandfather – in fact, many of her attitudes towards life shape how i choose to live my life now, not because she lectured.. “you must do this!”, but because they both led by example, and as a mature adult i’ve come to appreicate the attitudes they had, which in many ways were both desperately oldfashioned and ahead of their time (Grandpa was a new man before the term was ever bandied about, for example). I’ve always been very close to Grannie – we write each other a lot – and if i could have one wish in this life, it would be that we lived closer to her, so i could see her in person more.
Nannie (my paternal grandmother) on the other hand is a very very different woman. She’s not someone i know very well: we struggle to communicate, sadly, because of my deafness. She’s an intensely private person, who has worked hard all her life, made many sacrifices for the sake of her children, and who has a large and loving family around her. She’s very much a matriarch – and i don’t mean that in the sense of a soap bossy matriarch. I mean it in the sense of being head of the family, respected and loved by them all. She’s sadly not very well these days, i just hope she manages to pull through the problems that are besetting her now.
All three women have been present through my life, shaping my life in ways both spoken and unspoken, teaching, if not directly, through example, about what it means to be a woman, what it means to be a mother. And i hope, one day, when its my turn to be a mother, that i live up to their example. I could really do no less.
I found this little story on the net and it touched me deeply, and i wanted to share, but before i do..
Happy Mothering Sunday, Mom, Grannie, Nannie. I love you. xx
A Mother’s Tears
“Why are you crying”, a young boy asked his Mom.
“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
“And you never will, but that’s O.K.”…….
Later the little boy asked his father,
“Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?”.
“All women cry for no reason,” was all his Dad could say……
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked “God, why do women cry so easily?”
GOD answered……
“When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort…
I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining….
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly….
She has the very special power to make a child’s boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager’s anxieties and fears….
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart….
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly….
For all of this hard work,I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and
it is her only weakness…. When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. “
February 29, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Kethry,
What a moving tribute and story. Have a great weekend
xx
February 29, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Beautifully written straight from your heart, and a wonderful tribute to the most important women in your life. When you become a mum yourself, I’m sure you’ll be a good one 🙂
February 29, 2008 at 8:50 pm
I enjoyed reading about your mum and two grandmums. They all sound special, each in their own way.
Mothering Sunday in England seems far less commercial than ‘Mother’s Day’ is here – it is a creation of the card companies. Flower company also cash in as do restaurants.
February 29, 2008 at 11:26 pm
What a lovely post. Is your mum able to read it? Because if she is, I bet that’ll mean more to her than any bunch of flowers or box of chocolates. I’d be bawling my eyes out if one of my daughters had written that for me!
Sharon J x
March 3, 2008 at 10:14 am
Thank you for sharing so eloquently your feelings for your mum and grandmothers, it really touched me.
Take care
qotd x
March 4, 2008 at 12:06 am
thanks, guys.. i’m glad to know others have appreciated what i wrote 🙂
Kate: yes, Mothering sunday in the UK is a very different animal, although its becoming commercialised by the card companies, the flower shops etc., it remains a very traditional day in many ways. i dislike the commericalism which is why i make my own cards, i think it gives the message over better.
SharonJ: yes, Mum is able to read my blog, and often does. In fact, she sometimes prints entries out for my Grandmother and Dad to read (neither of which really have a lot to do with computers). I emailed her at work on friday to say: print it out, but don’t read it till you get home cos you *will* cry. Unfortunately i just missed her (pity, as she visited Grannie on saturday and could’ve take the print out with her) so she read it this morning instead.
[She didn’t take my advice and print it to read at home though. Nooooo.. my stubborn mother thinks she knows better – read it at work and cried. huh. She never listens to me. (and yes she’ll read this too. And i bet she says its revenge for all those years when i was a stubborn teenager and i “yes mum”‘d her.. lol).]
yes, i love you too, mum.. 😀
keth
xx
March 4, 2008 at 9:09 am
Yes Sharon, I did read this at work and yes I did cry buckets and got very embarrassed when people asked me “Are you ok”, and yes Kethry I have printed it out for Grannie and Nannie, and yes you were a horrible teenager, though you have got marginally better since.
March 4, 2008 at 12:54 pm
and now she’s grouchy cos i’m right and she doesn’t wanna admit it.. 😀
and Mum, i might’ve been a horrible teenager but i was an angelic child. i was!!!! stop it!!! I WASSSS!!!
keth
xx
April 1, 2010 at 8:23 pm
After reading this i realised the importance of mother in everyone life’s,and i get emotionally attached with this article, its truely said that “mother’s are true angel”.
May 20, 2010 at 6:29 am
i have used this image in my blog, wanted your approval… i did not know how to provide for acknowledgment
May 1, 2012 at 4:29 pm
juegos de phineas y ferb en español…
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