Most people have some kind of  – if not outright new year’s resolutions – resolve or plans for the new year. And i’m no different in that respect – except for one thing.

Its not entirely my idea.

Let me explain. I think my long term readers know that i suffer from stress-related IBS. One of the side effects of this is chronic diahorrea. Last October i got fed up with this and went back to the doctor to see if there was anything she could do for me. She sent me off for a barrage of tests, and told me to come back when the results were back (about 2 weeks). When I went back for the results, she sat me down and explained that a) my cholesterol was a little on the high side, and that b) my fasting blood glucose (FBG) was high as well. She wanted to send me for another FBG test, to make sure that it wasn’t just an anomoly. And then told me to make an appointment to see Cathy, the nurse, to discuss the results.

now.. i might be crazy, even a lil daft at times, but the one thing i ain’t, is stupid. I knew what a FBG test was measuring – the presence of glucose in the blood after not having eaten for 8 hours – and that this is an indicator of diabetes. To be honest, though, i really thought that i was going to get diagnosed as being pre-diabetic, that i was going to get the warning: if you don’t change your diet, you’re going to wind up diabetic.

At the beginning of December i saw the nurse, Cathy, and she sat me down and gently told me i definitely had Diabetes, Type 2.

Whoa.

She told me a lot of other stuff too – explained how diabetes works (or to be more accurate, doesn’t work), about the medication she was going to put me on, what i needed to do. And then, because it was just before christmas, she said: “don’t worry about christmas. Get through christmas, then we’ll start work on getting it under control”. She also gave me a blood sugar monitor (although i had to ask for that – that’s a whole other story, i was lucky to get it) with the warning not to use it obsessively.

And since then, i’ve been reading, learning about my condition, and coming to terms with it.

Acceptance for me has actually come quite quickly. I think i knew, deep down, that something had to change – my BMI is +30 – so i’m not railing against the change of diet like so many newly diagnosed diabetics are. In fact, quite the opposite: I’m trying to see it as the best thing that ever happened to me, because its forcing me to change my diet and to look after myself properly.

And yes, i don’t *have* to do anything about this. i could bury my head in the sand (especially given that i don’t really have any symptoms – many many people only find out about their diabetes when its already caused major problems, in that respect, i am *very* lucky) but… i looked up the list of problems that uncontrolled diabetes T2 can cause.. and its nasty. heart disease. strokes. amputations, kidney problems. death. but worst of all, in my book, is the threat of going blind. yes… that’s worse than death, to me. i’m deaf – to render me blind would be to close me off from the world completely. its my worst nightmare – and the one thing forcing me to do this. Its easy, when i look at a bar of chocolate or a packet of crisps now.

My eyesight.. or crisps?

There’s really no competition.

I’m lucky in that i don’t, yet, have to inject insulin. This may come, at some point, although i am hoping to delay it as long as possible. What i have to do now is to control my diet, very very strictly. I have to use my blood sugar monitor to find out what my body reacts to, what “spikes” my blood sugar, then minimise consumption of those things, in order to keep my blood sugar as level as possible.

My long term readers will know that i tend to write problems out. and while i had stopped blogging for a while, i decided over the christmas break to resurrect my blog – to continue to post the things i’ve always posted, jess-love, the garden, the environment, all those things, but also to share the progress i’m making with the dietary changes, and with getting my diabetes under control. I’ll try to put the worst of the details behind the cut, so you don’t have to read them if you don’t want to, but so much of getting diabetes under control successfully is about recording things – and of course, a blog is ideal for that.

And like i said.. yes. there may be trouble ahead. but while there’s moonlight and music.. ahhh. you know the rest. don’tcha?

[retyped this entire entry – cos wordpress ate my first attempt!!!]

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