i gotta go back, back back to school again…Whoa whoa, i gotta go, back to schooooooolllll.. AGAIN!

not that i’m a pink lady or anything, but.. tomorrow i start back at school for the first time in a long time. I say school – i mean returning to education, of course, not literally going back with a bunch of 11 year olds. But i do have a lot of mixed feelings about this, and of course, when i’m feeling all mixed up i do what i do best – write it out.

I’ve been busy the last few days preparing for tomorrow, which is induction day. I really have no idea what to expect – whether we’re talking one hour and then the rest of the day is free, or whether i’ll be there all day, or what. I also have no idea at this point what my timetable is like, whether i’ll be there on tuesday as well, when i start properly. I hope i get my timetable tomorrow. The college seems to have been a little bad in terms of processing my application, but from what i’m reading online, this is about par for the course – you have to be on the ball about your stuff, don’t expect things to happen automatically, cos in education, they don’t.

i bought a folder – every student needs a folder, right? – which was rather plain and boring. hmm. I can do something about that, right? you betcha i can. 😀 I was going to cover it with some nice wrapping paper but i couldn’t find something i wanted so… ended up taking various off cuts from the xmas card work i’d done in previous years, turning it into strips, and then weaving a new cover. Once that was stuck to the folder, i covered the whole thing with sticky backed plastic to stop it getting dirty and protect it a bit, and… bob’s your uncle. One totally unique folder, very blingy…. and one which i love!

my new college folder - totally unique!

Michiel turned and looked at me when i was in the middle of making this. The trouble with this xmassy paper is its very glittery.. and said glitter gets everywhere, all over my clothes and hair and my face, and he burst out laughing.  “You really are going back to school, aren’t you?”, he said. “although i do wonder if that one is the right place for you.. maybe nursery would be more fun!” I had to laugh, cos he’s quite right – the thought of being turned loose in a room full of craft materials is a dream come true to me (although the thought of my precious work being ripped from my hands by a petulant toddler wanting to know what i was doing.. not so much!). But then it really got me thinking about college.

I think most people know that i had pretty bad experiences at school. And while i did do an Open University Foundation Course about 10 years ago, that was University. That was “Grown Up”. I guess in my mind, this equates more to school – like i’m going to be in a classroom with a bunch of 16 year olds. (although i’ve been repeatedly told i’m not, that its more mature students than 16 year olds – in fact, you have to be over a certain age to get onto this course, 19 being the minimum age, i think). I think this isn’t really helped by the fact that each time i’ve gone to the campus, for whatever reason its been full of youths from that age group.. and that’s what makes me so nervous. Its bringing back a lot of memories from when i was at school, and at the moment i’m handling this very much in one of two ways, swinging between the two.

the first is a very bullish, belligerent, cross-me-and-you’ll-get-hurt attitude. This is the attitude i had when i was making the folder: thinking that it would be totally unique, and this was a good thing! (also feeling very strongly that this time around i wouldn’t be held back from being ME, being unique, myself, and not one of the sheepy crowd – like i felt i had to be back in school, when i was afraid to be myself). Feeling that if someone dared laugh at my folder, they were going to get a real lecture about not being one of the crowd, and personal space, and so on.

The other, i’ve started to feel in the last 12 hours. I woke up this morning with a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach, and its one that i took a while to identify, as i’d not felt it for so long. Its a feeling i used to feel going back to work (particularly the workplace ruled by the bad bosses, not sure i’ve ever blogged about that) after a holiday, or going back to school after a holiday/weekend at home. A sense of impending doom that would hang over the entire last day, tinge everything with a nasty taste, and generally just be unpleasant. I never wanted to go back – to school, to work, and i don’t want to go tomorrow either.

But at the same time, i do. I’m excited. Its going to be hard work – an Access course is the equivalent of A levels, done in 9 months, they hit the ground running and they really don’t let up – but i am really looking forward to having my mind stretched, to taking a step out of apathy. I’m ready for this, now, in a way that i wasn’t before, i think. I’m looking forward to making friends and expanding my universe as well.

With tomorrow being an induction day it will almost certainly involve the horrible icebreaker exercises. I have been in touch with the Deaf Access Team at the college – i was assessed by a lovely lady, a teacher of the deaf, and there’s a lot of help available to me, if i want it (and we’ve agreed on the kind of things that i need – from a note taker to more technical help with hearing), and there will be a notetaker ready to meet me tomorrow morning. This is a professional notetaker – she comes equipped with a laptop and a netbook, which are linked – i get to look at her notes as she types them, via the netbook, and then they’re emailed to me afterwards, which is pretty cool. I may get spoiled by this – i doubt i’d get that level of support at university (where notetakers tend to be other students, doing this for a bit of extra cash – or they used to be, things might’ve changed). I’m also getting to meet a tech guy, who will walk me through the various types of technical help, which is cool too.

Either way, i hope.. i think.. i will come home tomorrow night absolutely buzzing. I’ll try to blog about it – but i have a lot to do over the next few weeks, not including college. We’re visiting my parents at their new home in a couple weeks, to take mom’s new computer down to them, and i’m looking forward to seeing them and showing them all the photos from holiday, as well as telling them all about college, and i need to get quite a lot of stuff sorted for that. And there’s the holiday photos/videos  too, which i still have to get off my netbook onto my desktop so that i can process them to get them onto flickr and then this blog.

Something else i did last week was to make a bookmark out of parchment paper. This was for one of Michiel’s Aunts – a birthday present – which i duly sent off to the Netherlands. I just hope she likes it. She’s a teacher, so i think it’ll probably get used! Got a few more to make – her husband’s birthday is at the end of Sept, so i’ll probably make another, more masculine one for him, and i know Michiel wants one as well, featuring a celtic cross. not sure how that one’s going to work just yet.

parchment craft bookmark made for an aunt of Michiel's, a birthday present.

a close up. This wasn't a parchment craft pattern. The pattern came from a book of whitework needlework patterns, many of which i also find suitable for parchment craft - its one reason i love the art, inspiration and patterns can come from lots of places.

lets hope she likes it!

So.. as of tomorrow, i’ll be a student again. still with a lot of misgivings, but 24 hours should sort that, i hope. So i’ll leave you with that Grease 2 song, which, if you’re like me, is now stuck in your head… 😀

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdpkFPKo1o4 << link to the video, if you want to see the original…!

Spendin’ my vacation in the summer sun
Gettin’ lots of action, havin’ lots of fun
Scorin’ like a bandit till the bubble burst
Suddenly it got to be September first!
Woe is me….all summer long I was happy and free
Save my soul, the board of education took away my parole

I gotta go back, back, back to school again
You won’t find me, till the clock strikes three
I’m gonna be there till then
I gotta go back, back, back to school again
Whoa whoa, I gotta go, Back to School……AGAIN!

Geometry and History it’s just a pain
Biology and Chemistry destroys my brain
don’t they know that I deserve a better fate
I’m really much too young to matriculate
Mama please, your child’s come down with a fatal disease
mama said: “C’mon you lazy bum and get your butt outta bed!”

You gotta go back, back, back to school again
It’s bye bye fun, get your homework done, and better be in by ten
I gotta go back, back back to school again
Whoa whoa, I gotta go…Back to School…..AGAIN!

I got my books together and I dragged my feet
And then I saw this angel boppin’ down the street
I said hey pretty baby, “How’s about a date?”
She said “I’m goin to school and I can’t be late!”
I could see, the look in her eyes was sayin’ follow me
And I was caught…I thought of playin’ hooky but on second thought

I gotta go back, back, back to school again
You won’t find me, till the clock strikes three
I’m gonna be there till then
I gotta go back, back, back to school again…
Whoa whoa, I gotta go….Back to School….AGAIN!