February 2011


I got an essay back today. (still two with the teacher, and one I’m handing in tomorrow). 3 more distinctions, which brings my total to 13 distinctions out of 15, 7 for Archaeology and 6 for History. This is for the Archaic Greece essay, which is the first one I did after Dad’s death, and one of the hardest I’ve had to do (for that reason). In fact, I was just sitting down to write it when I got the news. Its not one of my best essays, so to still get three distinctions for it makes me really happy.

Remarks by the teacher: “Good. A very sound and well written piece that clearly meets the requirements of a very sound piece of work. Well written and well structured. No major problems here. An excellent effort for a first piece on this course. Well done!” (clearly “Sources of History” doesn’t count for the first piece of work.. !)

I’ve also heard from a fourth university. They’ve made a conditional offer, they want 75% of the marks to be distinctions, with the rest at merit, which is pretty tough. I’ve now heard from 4 of my 5 universities, all making offers. The final one is taking a little longer to decide, I have heard from them in that they are making their decisions now, and I will hear from them after 19th March. So, no decision making yet, but it is hanging over me. Have visited one university already, and I was very impressed with them. Visiting another on March 9th (hopefully), and another on March 16th (definitely, its all booked), and the fourth on March 30th (hopefully). The fifth is holding interviews on 3rd/4th April, so we’ll see if I get invited to interview, I’ve been told no offers without an interview, so we’ll see. Yes, I’m being very mysterious but i don’t want to jinx anything just yet. I will, however, write my impressions of the various universities down after each visit, post them on here, with their full names… after I’ve chosen my firm and insurance selections, sometime towards may/june (the deadline for me making a decision depends on when the final university makes its offer – if they decide late, i get more time before I *have* to make a decision).

Also: next Tuesday (8th) the whole class is off to Manchester Uni who is putting on an Archaeology day for the class, which should be fun. We’ve got other field trips coming up, including a big one – not sure where this will be yet, maybe Vindolanda (on Hadrian’s Wall) or York. Personally, I’m hoping for York. I like my creature comforts! (see, this is why I would make a terrible archaeologist.. i hate mud. I like archaeology for what it can offer in terms of knowledge, but I’d far rather other people dig it out of the ground for me…!)

I’ve also got a trip to hospital as an inpatient on 18th, my retinopathy appointment on 4th, oh, and I’ve had diabetes results back too. all looking very very good (will update diabetes page)  – except my weight. it’s crept up over the last 5 months.. not a lot, but I need to halt that and reverse it.. pronto!

i haz moare dist-in-shuns.. noaw has 10 distintshuns, out of a possible 12.. i haz good kitty learning hat noaw, yes?*

*before you think i’ve lost what little mind i had to begin with.. its in lolcatspeak. i got the exam results back today of the exam we took before christmas on archaeological dating methods. 24 out of 25 questions correct, with distinctions across the board. yay!

I’m hitting another down cycle. I haven’t had one for a while: guess I was hoping I wouldn’t get another one (bit silly, but.. hey… I live in hope. Glass half full n all that). Guess it also isn’t entirely surprising, with everything that’s happened in the last month or so.

Unfortunately its also making it very very difficult to get college work done at a point where I really don’t need that difficulty. I’ve an essay hanging over me on the Egyptian Old Kingdom, which I need to get done ASAP. Another essay due in when I get back after half term at the end of February on Iron Age Britain, and probably two more shortly after, one on Middle Kingdom Egypt and another on Classical 5th Century Greece. I also need to keep ontop of what we’re studying now, as soon we’re going to be getting into the period where the assessment for some of these modules is exams, rather than essays. And, of course, there’s my Independent Research Project (the Disabled in Ancient Greece) which needs to be done by Easter, as well. So I’ve got to get my head down and plough through it all.

The difficulty i’m having is with concentrating – i find my thoughts drifting far too easily at the moment. I’m having to read, and re-read, and re-read a paragraph two or three times before it sinks in, because i’m reading without taking it in, if that makes any sense. That doesn’t have too much of an impact on reading – it just takes me longer is all. Where it really impacts on is in my essay writing. That’s the part I’m really struggling with at the moment.

But its also not going to get any easier. And frankly, if I want a career in academia, there are going to be other times where my mind is longing to be elsewhere but I have to knuckle down and just work through it. I keep telling myself: “Stop being so bloody precious, Liz, and just siddown and write!” but that is still seriously easier said than done.

I long.. i really long.. to just go to bed, pull the duvet over my head, shut out the world, and shut down. not to sleep, but to shut down, to not feel. to go comatose. in some ways, that would be so easy, such a blessing. And its the one thing I know I can’t do. I have to get through this.

End of.